Since its’ conception way back in 1997, the Fallout series has had a vast and encompassing world, spreading out in both distance and era. Over the course of eight games and counting, the world of Fallout has grown consistently, changing hands from developers, programmers, and writers, so it makes sense from an outsider’s standpoint that consistency between game titles can be a little daunting. Mistakes within the shared universe are bound to happen, and can be fairly forgivable, with the fog of memory coloring of any lack continuity.
What is harder to forgive, however, is when a single title can’t even get its’ own stories straight, a universe with such glaring irregularities, even within a world of science fiction, that the immersion is almost instantly broken. Welcome to the world of Fallout 4, where the technology is made up and the motivations of characters don’t matter. There are so many baffling decisions contained within this game, totally outside of some bizarre play styles (who’s bright idea was it to get rid of the dialogue options?) that it makes you wonder if the whole of the post-apocalypse isn’t just a fever dream of a poor protagonist contained within a leaking cryotube. At least then we would have a valid reason for why nothing makes sense, people are cardboard cutouts of actual human reactions and the world caters to your every whim. I’m not saying it’s a bad game, I’m just saying that under scrutiny, it kind of falls apart. Let me show you…
25 Home Is Where The Heart Is
A huge portion of the game is creating settlements for the otherwise lost souls throughout The Commonwealth. These are people who are having a really tough go of it, living in a perpetual hell of Raiders, Ghouls, and Supermutants constantly threatening their well being. You being the good samaritan that you are (and apparently in no rush to do anything else, like find your son or avenge your wife’s murder) you create settlements throughout the wasteland, places of protection, resources, and community. These are spread far and wide, and occasionally need your help with keeping things running.
Why are they spread out? Early on you find Sanctuary, a near fully formed cul-de-sac leftover from the before the bombs fell, it has farming areas, protective walls, and trading areas. The question is, why spread people out so much until you had the numbers? If you need to perpetually divert your attention to help them, shouldn’t that clue you in that they aren’t self-sustaining? Why not jam as many people as possible into one location, one central location, instead of spreading out settlements far and wide? Speaking of settlements…
24 Something From Nothing
I’ll admit, building things for settlements was actually one of my favorite aspects of the game (cuz I’m cool like that) so it really cuts deep that I have to start picking it apart. While I have no umbrage with compiling the things you need to cobble together new and interesting resources, both for yourself and for your settlements, there has to be a limit. No amount of tin cans are going to help you build a new robot butler, and picking up rocks along the road aren’t going to help you create brand new concrete slabs.
Furthermore, let’s say you had the means to break down and reassemble things at their base level of materials, why does everything look like crap? Shouldn’t things have a just forged quality to them? Either freshly painted or right out of the smelter? Why does everything, even stuff you just created through the magic of crafting, look like it has been through years in the wasteland?
23 From Sea To Glowing Sea
Ah, The Glowing Sea, one of the coolest locations in all of Fallout 4. It’s inhospitable, dangerous and full of treasures, it’s like apocalypse from concentrate. Heck, the air is so full of radiation that a huge part of the storyline is figuring out how to even enter the area safely, with you having a few avenues to explore, like power armor, RadAway, or Rad-X, to name a few. As you progress further in the game, these things become readily available to you, making the journey into the Glowing Sea easier.
Here’s the thing: you are kinda new to The Commonwealth, lots of other people have been here their whole lives. The things you used to enter The Glowing Sea aren’t exactly rare or singular items, you usually scavenge them off people who already had them. So why aren’t more people doing the exact same thing you did? Sure, it’s a dangerous place, but that doesn’t stop raiders from exploring literally everywhere else. It just seems like a convenient plot device that you are the only person who figured out how to use anti-radiation gear to, you know, survive radiation.
22 Everyone Is So Powerful!
Plenty of things are incredibly hard to find in the wasteland, like food and water, bullets and armor, friendship and love, good writing. There are a few things that should be way harder to find in the wasteland, though, which is pretty strange considering. Power Armor. It seems like you can’t trip over a bottlecap mine without stumbling headfirst into some new piece of Power Armor. As the Fallout universe describes it, Power Armor is a relic of yesteryear, mechanized suits worn by soldiers from before everything went all desolate and greyish. They are essentially mobile battle tanks, quickly changing the tide of any fight they are worn in.
So why do so many people have them? Either there was an oversaturation in the Power Armor market moments before the bombs fell, or half of the population is some kind of engineering genius. There should be, maybe, three of these in the entire postal code, with the rest either destroyed outright during the beginning moments of the apocalypse or succumbing the natural degradation through years of misuse or nonuse. Here’s something to wonder: when was the last time you saw a working car in a Fallout game? Apparently a functioning four wheel vehicle is more common to find than a third rate Iron-Man suit.
21 Why Are You Doing That?
The secret, shadowy company known as The Institute makes itself know fairly early in the game, either through dialogue options that demonstrate how everyone hates them, or through encounters with their rogue synthetics. They live far beneath the ground of Boston, performing mostly Synth related experiments, both within their lab and on the world above. They are the the quintessential morally dubious scientific enemy that pops up in these kinds of games.
Can anyone of our brilliant readers give us a concise answer on what their motivations are again? Sure, they give vague answers like “scientific advancement at any cost” but is scientific advancement the motivation alone? Why bother experimenting on the people in the world abroad? Why dump synths out in the world to mess with people? Why kidnap people and replace them with synths? For resources? Half of the things the things The Institute does seem to be simply because they like being the bad guy.
20 Can’t We Be Friends?
Much like the conflict that arises with movies like Blade Runner, the arbitrary distinction between Synth and Human has caused such a rift in Fallout 4 that the two factions are almost perpetually at each other’s throats. Generation 1 & 2 Synths roam the Wasteland, killing everyone they come into contact with, usually without provocation. Other Synths, like DiMA and Nick Valentine, are unique, in that they intended to bridge the gap between man and machine. Even other, Generation 3 Synths are indistinguishable from people, even going so far as to seek asylum away from their creators.
So we have to ask what the motivation is for the roaming death squads of Synths if you are simultaneously creating infiltration units. Do you know how much more successful the infiltration would be if you just let people get over their Synth hatred for a few minutes? Also, if a Synth wants to be free, is The Institute so strapped for resources that they need to have that particular model back immediately? Why not make more Nick Valentines, who the people of Diamond City have come to love? Pick a strategy and stick to it!
19 One Lucky Robot
While the animosity between the people of The Commonwealth and The Institute seems arbitrary, it is very much a real thing. After a poorly thought out massacre in Diamond City at the hands of a Synth, everyone is especially wary of these robots wandering in their midst, a fact made all the more concrete by the fact that even the undisguised ones are immediately hostile. There are exceptions, though, such as your close, personal friend Nick Valentine, who has slowly earned the trust of the people of Diamond City.
He wouldn’t have realistically have ever gotten the chance. Upon first arrival in the city, he would’ve been laser blasted into scrap a thousand times over. Even if he did survive the initial encounter long enough to make a few friends, a skittish trader who was just ambushed might draw first and ask questions later after seeing Nick. Not to mention, substances flow more freely than clean water in this world, and since everyone is armed o their missing teeth, I find it highly suspicious that Valentine hasn’t met his end yet.
18 Gotta Go Fast
In a map as huge as the ones in any Fallout game, the ability to fast travel is a great one. Teleporting totally aside (since it is now totally a thing) fast travel allows us to simply blank out on the necessary travel time it would take to go from one point to another on foot. Apparently, the average travel time in Fallout 4 is something akin to 2 hours and fifteen minutes of in-game time to fast travel, which seems fair.
Wait, no, what’s the opposite of fair? I couldn’t make that travel that fast on foot if I was in control, why as soon as the game gets the controller it knows how to be super efficient at it? What does it know that I don’t? The timescale system should at least be reasonably similar to the capabilities we are given during actual gameplay.
Also, and this is my least favorite part, is the inability to fast travel when “over encumbered.” Why would I not be able to zone out while I make the long trudge back to my abode so I can relieve myself of the twenty million baseballs I collected for whatever reason? Simply add more time on the clock, make the timescale like that of someone who is walking and not running, and give me the ability to fast travel already!
17 Technology Gaps
The technological advancements in Fallout can be a fickle mistress. For much of society, you are stuck in a world of perpetual 1950 culture. Other times, you come across teleportation, brain powered robots, jet packs, power armor and of course, laser rifles. The game world has always been one of fun anachronisms, which don’t actually take away from the game, but give it that special in-universe feel.
My issue is that we have floating, nuclear powered, chrome butlers but we don’t have needle and thread. Honestly, you can build a brain in a jar with tank tread legs from scratch, but every piece of clothing you have will be disgustingly ripped and filthy. How do people have the ability to build a flamethrower sword but they can’t hem themselves some well fitting jorts? Maybe we should stop concentrating on putting spikes on literally everything and try cobbling together a decent outfit.
16 Where’d You Study?
Whenever I find myself confronted with a technological problem, I do three things, in this order. Thing the first, I google whether it can be repaired by my own hands. Thing the second, I try to fix said problem. Thing the third, I fail miserably, I make everything worse, the technology limps on for another nine days before I give up and buy a new one. It’s the way of the world, it’s what keeps the Earth spinning.
People in Fallout have exactly zero of these options. They have, maybe, a manual or two, that hopefully survived years of musk and rot, but how many of those can there be? They could always take stuff apart and figure out how it works, but most of the time when you do that, you irreparably damage the object in the process. So why are so many people so good at building things? Have you seen how many engineering wonderkids there are out there? Can this all be spread through word of mouth?
15 The “I” In Teamwork
It’s something of a trope now to get annoyed at how often Preston Garvey bugs you with a thousand problems for the defenseless settlements. At first, you take it with a grain of salt because you are helpful, and you want the Minutemen to be known as the peacekeepers around these here parts. After a while, you may start to notice something…
That’s right, literally nothing gets done without you. If you don’t accept the call for help, help isn’t coming, despite The Castle, the Minutemen’s headquarters, being a bustling hive of activity. So what purpose do they serve again? They have cannons, which are dope, but that should be one of at least three functions they serve. Why are they coming to me, they guy who restarted them, with every single problem? That’s like a Tesla employee going to Elon Musk to ask him to unscrew his jar of pickles. This is not a good use of your time.
14 Seriously, Guys
I’m not done talking about how awful The Minutemen are at their jobs. They are literally of no use at all. You can use a flare gun to call in a handful of friends, who will quickly be turned into laser sponges, but really, you should be able to do a lot more than that.
Before getting them on their feet, you led the Minutemen into a massive battle against a Mirelurk Queen, so you know that you can mobilize a fairly hefty strike force when the occasion calls for it. During that fight, you even see that a few characters can be useful, a rare quality in this game (and in real life.) So every now and then, it should stand to reason that you should be able to tell the Minutemen of a priority location that they help you storm, making the taking of it that much easier. This does not happen, because the world is against you.
13 Let’s Do A Quick Headcount, People
Generation 3 Synths are engineered to be capable of complex thought which grows with experience. Many people consider this sentience and free will, so for them to not be able to say no to The Institute seems, to some, like a kind of slavery. Enter The Railroad, a clandestine group of plucky rebels who gather up Synthetic refugees and try to get them to a better place to live, free from the far reaching grip of the evil Institute.
Yeah, The Railroad has like ten people, three of which ever do anything. They claim to have agents everywhere, but at maximum, I think I’ve counted fifteen people. I get that numbers are down after the apocalypse, but at some point you have to realize you are less of a “rebel movement” and more of a “morality club.” Seriously, maybe if they didn’t make it so pointlessly obtuse to enlist, they might have more people to volunteer, that way they could stop executing such disastrous missions.
12 I’m Just That Good
I’ve talked before about how repairing a robot pirate ship so it can sail off into glory is probably the coolest side quest that anyone has ever done. It’s got laser cannons, a nifty captain, laser cannons, a flying ship, laser cannons, stupid nautical puns, laser cannons. It’s basically the coolest thing since sliced bread. That doesn’t mean that it isn’t without its’ own problems.
Why in the heck would a crew of robots ever need your primitive brain for help on their futuristic craft? Not only were you frozen for years while technology shot off in new and fascinating directions, but they are literally built for this kind of thing. How were they stranded until you came along? This is like if I unfroze a wooly mammoth and expected it to be able to write an article for me. There are a thousand degrees of separation which make me the more qualified party.
11 A Tasteful Grief Period
Piper, Paladin Danse, Cait, MacReady, Curie, Preston Garvey, John Hancock, and Magnolia. These are all the people you can woo to be your partner, either for a night or a lifetime, within Fallout 4 (if you choose anyone besides Curie or Hancock you are a fool, A DAMNED FOOL.) Let’s say, for argument’s sake that you guide our protagonist into sweeping the person of your choosing of their feet (if they have feet). What a blissfully happy ending in a world full of slime and death.
How’d this story begin? Oh right, your spouse is murdered right in front of you. The story unfolds over an undetermined number of days, but still, unless you took a few months to start flirting with someone, the whole thing seems a little gauche. I guess when you don’t know which day will be your last, you will take love wherever you can find it. Or maybe you’re a sociopath and you are already over the death of a loved one you promised to cherish and to hold. Whichever.
10 Let’s Go Over The Plan Again
Vault-Tec created nuclear bomb proof faults scattered throughout the world, where the last vestiges of humanity took shelter from the titular fallout. Seems like a solid plan for a company to provide a way for the human race to ensure it doesn’t go extinct. And they pretty much have the capability to do it, with technological advances, wealth and infrastructure, everything is there for different communities to blossom inside these vaults, waiting for the day when they can return to the surface.
Except every single Vault is a nightmare. Vault-Tec, for reasons unclear other than “shady science” chose to subject every single Vault to a form of obscene experiment. I understand the need to gather data, sure, but what good is the data if EVERYONE ON EARTH IS DEAD. It isn’t even like they have control groups, where they have Vaults divided in two and see what happens to one side of the vault when they ruin their lives, and leave the other people untouched. Nope, they just flat out play around with what could possibly be the sole survivors of all of humanity. I’m hoping a future game talks about an untouched Vault full of Vault-Tec staff who are collating this data to put to good use.
9 That Man Must Love His Outfit
Early in the game, you meet a Vault-Tec rep who asks you a bunch of questions, before you are whisked off and your life is irreparably ruined forever. Later in the game, you meet that same Vault-Tec rep, now ghoulified through radiation which has rendered him ageless. What a cool way to bridge the world before and after. And it’s always nice to see a familiar face! Well, facial features. Bone structure? Ok, only his coat and hat are familiar.
Wait, he’s still wearing that coat and hat? I’ve changed my clothes no less than five hundred times by the time I reach him in the game, and he is still cruising around in his old-world duds? Did we just happen to catch him on laundry century? Or is this a case of when you find the perfect outfit, it becomes the only thing you wear? I’ll give him credit, it’s a pretty snazzy suit.
8 Literally Everyone You Know Is Fine
Mr. Handy Robots aren’t exactly indestructible. You have to dismantle hundreds of them by force throughout the game, so you know how destructible they can be. Which makes it all the more suspicious when your robot butler from before the war, Codsworth, is found alive (for a robot) and well (for an apocalypse survivor.) How did he survive the blast? And the Raiders? And Ghouls? You know what, the list of things that would’ve turned him a new exhaust pipe is too long.
What’s further disconcerting is that everyone around you seems to have been unaffected by the giant mushroom cloud you see at the beginning of the game. Your son, the Vault-Tec guy, Codsworth, heck even your spouse avoided getting vaporized long enough to get shot in the head. Kind of diminishes how brutal the Great War is supposed to be when people just seem to be casually surviving it.
7 Take Your Zeppelin And Get Out Of Here
The Brotherhood of Steel has always, in every iteration of Fallout, fell into a moral ambiguity that was indicative of the theme of the games. Doing good things sometimes comes at the cost of bad actions, and nobody embodies that more than The Brotherhood. The East Coast Brotherhood, which you primarily deal with in Fallout 4 does charitable actions, protecting citizens from Raiders, securing trade routes, researching new technology and basically assisting where they are needed.
Oh, and they are pointlessly bigoted. They hate anything nonhuman, which includes friendly Ghouls and Synths. A Generation 3 Synth could be fleeing for its’ life, or leaving people alone, and they would still be set on their extermination. They have loosely defined terms of what is “unnatural” but they will dogmatically oppress anyone who falls within those characteristics. Hard to argue the moral ambiguity of murdering a law abiding person, but what do I know.
6 What’s The Password?
Diamond City, The Great Green Jewel, is both a flourishing city and a well-protected stronghold. Due to the safety of being located inside a stadium, people have been able to go about their lives, unfettered. After a series of attacks from without and within, the city is nigh impossible to break into, with walls to protect against Super Mutant attack and guards on ever vigilant patrol in look out for Synths.
So why are you able to come and go as you please, after the first time you get it? Is that just the system they have? Don’t they want to check to make sure I wasn’t replaced by a Synth, asking me questions only I would know or something? For a city that prides itself on both its’ safety and its’ paranoia, they sure are trusting of a guy they just met. I guess you just have one of those faces.
